Roadmap to Help

So, you know someone with misophonia, and you're wondering, "How on earth can I help when there’s no cure for this?" Well, first of all, on behalf of all misophones, thank you for even asking yourself the question and being here today reading this. Just that small action shows support, curiosity, and a willingness to journey into the unknown to make someone else’s life that little bit easier – you legend!

A quick travel briefing before we set off on this journey: The suggestions in this post are based on my personal experiences and may not be suitable for all passengers. Please check in with your travelling companion (aka, the person you’re supporting) to ensure maximum comfort and understanding throughout the journey. We hope this provides helpful guidance for your trip ahead!

Educating and Researching

Reading accurate, evidence-based articles, listening to podcasts, reading blogs, talking to people with lived experience, and staying up to date on the latest research are all fantastic ways to show support. By doing so, you’re not only showing curiosity but also becoming educated on the subject. It's like preparing for your journey – the more you know, the smoother it will be.

Providing a Safe Space

If you’re an Aussie, you may remember the yellow ‘Safety House’ signs — places where someone can go if they need help. Be like that, be a big yellow safety sign! Be a safe person that, if needed, someone can go to and feel supported. It’s about providing that safe space for someone with misophonia, much like finding a quiet spot in the airport.

Allowing Adjustments (e.g., Headphones)

For schools, workplaces, clubs, etc., be top-notch and allow reasonable adjustments. I am forever grateful that I can wear headphones at work a lot of the time. Little adjustments like this can make a huge difference, much like ensuring you have the right travel gear for a comfortable trip.

Knowing you can be reminded again and again Without Backlash

I know it’s tedious, but you might need to be reminded again and again about triggers. It can be exhausting for both parties, but please know that your patience and understanding are so appreciated. Think of it like checking your tickets before every leg of a journey – just a little routine for peace of mind.

Recognising the Signs of Being Triggered

My husband has developed a bit of a superpower in recognising when I’m triggered. He’s hyper-aware of my reactions and is able to help keep me calm when I’m becoming overwhelmed. Sometimes, he even notices a trigger before I do! His attentiveness is invaluable. Try and tune in to signs of being triggered and possible triggers in different environments.

Being a Calm Presence

Misophonia can provoke intense emotions such as rage, panic, and anxiety. Having a calm, reassuring presence when these feelings arise is worth its weight in gold. I can’t thank my husband enough for the times he has kept his calm and helped me to stay calm in turbulent situations. In these moments, people with misophonia may not be able to think clearly, so having someone provide solutions can make a world of difference.

Ask Questions and Have Discussions

Have ongoing conversations. Misophonia isn’t something you “fix” with one conversation; it’s an ongoing dialogue. Regular check-ins can help ensure you're aware of any new triggers or coping mechanisms that may come into play over time. It’s a journey, not a one-time fix. Ask lots of questions, and, most importantly, ask, “How can I help you?” Sometimes, the simplest question can be the most effective.

Be Supportive and Open-Minded

If it’s the first time you’ve ever heard of misophonia, that’s okay! Just show support and be open to travelling into new territory. Avoid jokes, judgments, or sarcasm — and, most importantly, don’t intentionally trigger the person for amusement. Show kindness, understanding, and respect.

Believing, Remembering, and Advocating

For me, this one is huge. Please believe me when I say that misophonia is not just an annoyance. It's a real condition, it’s not made up. If someone tells you that something is triggering, trust that they are being sincere. In the same way nurses believe patients when they report pain levels, please believe when people explain their experiences with misophonia. Most of all, advocate for them. Stand up for them, support them, embrace your inner travel guide and help educate others about misophonia along the way.

Let’s finish with a real-life scenario on what not to do…

I recently had an experience where I was having a conversation in a quiet room with a colleague, and someone walked in whistling. I can't even begin to describe how nauseous it makes me feel just remembering it. I tried to explain to the person what misophonia is and how whistling is a major trigger for me. Do you know what their response was?

“Well, that just makes me want to do it more”

I felt like I had just bared my soul and been vulnerable with someone I hardly knew, only to be met with sarcasm and close-mindedness. This is a perfect example of what not to do.

So, what would a good response have been?

Well, anything but what actually happened! But let’s start with: stopping, believing, asking questions, having a discussion, not judging, being open-minded, and showing support.

So there you have it: just some ways you can help. Some may be more applicable than others, but I’m certain they are all achievable. You don’t have to have a PhD in misophonia, but showing empathy and offering support can make a big difference in how someone feels. Ultimately, everyone’s adventure with misophonia is different, so the easiest way to know what will help is to simply ask them.

ADDENDUM: I’ve always loved travelling, hence the journey theme—my journey through misophonia is an adventure with unexpected twists and turns. I’ll be honest and say I wish I could cancel the trip, but unfortunately, there is no cure at this time. In the words of Sheryl Crow, “Every day is a winding road,” and this path through misophonia is certainly so. The most important thing I can say to everyone out there is to stay curious, patient, and willing to adjust the route when needed. Wishing you safe travels on this road of understanding! 🌍✈️